By LINFA CARRION

The first time ACS came into my life I had no idea how to handle my case. ACS claimed that I had abandoned my daughters by leaving them with my mother. In fact, I’d asked her to take them while I recovered from being in a car accident.

At my first meeting with ACS, they asked me if I was using drugs, even though that wasn’t part of the case against me. I said, “Yes, marijuana,” so they asked me to come to drug counseling and to take a drug test once a week until my system was clean.

‘That’s Not Enough’

I thought I was doing fine with what ACS told me to do, like parenting classes and drug counseling. But I got into trouble because I thought I could work things out my way.

At the time, I was living in New Haven. I wanted to stay there or move in with my mother. ACS told me I had to find my own apartment, though, and for a long time I didn’t do that.

I also visited my daughters at my mother’s house, not at the agency. Even though I saw them twice each week the first year, and once or once or twice a month after that, I realize now that the agency didn’t see my dedication to my children.

In court, ACS said they wouldn’t give my daughters back, telling me, “That’s not enough for us.” I tried to speak to my lawyer about what was happening, but she never called me back. The whole time my children were in care I met with my lawyer only twice.

What Went Wrong?

The last time I spoke to the social worker, she told me I would get an appointment to go back to court, but instead I received a big packet of papers telling me that my rights were terminated. I had no idea what went wrong.

When I held those papers in my hand, I felt that everyone was against me. It brought back every bad memory of my childhood and sent me straight into depression. I thought, “Is this what I was born for? To be unhappy all the time? When are things going to get better for me?”

As bad as I felt, I just tried not to dwell on what happened and continued seeing my daughters at my mother’s house as much as I could.

The Help I Needed

Then, on January 7, 2005, I thought that nightmare was going to happen to me all over again. ACS knocked on my door with the allegation that I left my 1-year-old child alone in the house and that I was allowing drug trafficking out of my apartment. But thank God, this time I got the help I needed to prove that the allegation was unfounded.

When I told my new boyfriend what happened, he told me to call his mother, who works for an advocacy organization called the Child Welfare Organizing Project. She introduced me to a social worker and a lawyer at the Center for Family Representation, and they helped me prove my case.

Proving My Case

My social worker, Ms. Wanjiro, went with me to talk to the ACS social worker. In the meeting, ACS said they wanted me to take drug tests again. I was willing to do it, but Ms. Wanjiro said that I didn’t have to because the allegation was not about using drugs, it was about allowing my apartment to be used to sell drugs.

Ms. Wanjiro told ACS that it was against my rights to ask for a drug test, and that it was against my rights to take my children, because police had pressed no charges against me and there was no evidence that I was hurting my kids. In the end, my kids stayed home with me. I was so relieved.

My case went down differently the second time because I had someone with me who explained my rights and stood up to ACS for me. I only wish I’d had someone by my side the first time. I’m sure I wouldn’t have lost my two girls to the system if someone had explained to me then what I needed to do to get them back.